In Reality
You ask me what’s going on
You claim that you want to know what’s on my heart
You ask to listen to it all
You say you care and that you won’t turn away
You beg me to explain
You want to hear about the day
But you don’t ever take the time to look at my face
To see the tears behind the lenses
To see the words I don’t say
You don’t notice what is beneath the surface
You don’t ask me why I cry
You don’t stop believing all of the lies
You take the pretty smile and go away happy
You want a synopsis, brief and snappy
You don’t hear the truth behind the façade
You are content with the mask I have always had
If you really took the time, if you really wanted to know
If I knew you truly cared, that you would actually stay
If I could be assured that you would understand
That I would not be left in the cold again
I would lay it all down, and let you see my sin
I would hold out my cards and show you where I stand
I would trust you and I would be sure that it would not end
But for now, I wait for the time when I know that I can speak
That I am safe within your arms without exile to fear
For now I cower to avoid the eventual wrath
And I pray that my mask for at least one more day will last.
I trust that He will bring you to a point that you can be the one to bear the weight
And allow you to see what is truly on my heart.